October 22, 2013

This, is me. Truth is, I know, exactly how much the outside world judges me for who I am and how I choose to live my life. The thing is, I really don’t give a shit about what how the world chooses to judge me. I might seem broken, I might seem like a mess, but truth is, I am far from it, I choose whatever makes me happy without hurting anyone. This place, is an outlet, for some of the things in my past, the battles I’ve won solely on my own, how proud and happy I am to witness how far I’ve gone. No, I’m not scarred, I’m not cracked, I’m not even half as whacked as most of the norms I know. Please, feel free to live in my shoes before presuming I’m damaged, please feel free to compare yourself to me, or how much better than me you are. Lets see your strength to walk away and stand up after all that. I tricked my way out of the life of an abusive mother, family abandonment, having my ass kicked all through school, boyfriends who gave me my numerous addictions, boyfriends who tried to sell me off, swap me with a 40 year old couple when I was teenager,, fucked my bestfriend and all that crap,Then there were those who robbed, drugged, gambled on and cheated me, by so called friends in the ghetto and even raped by my high school crush all before my 18th birthday, but guess what, I physically took myself away from all that. Even with the 7 year boyfriend I had here who constantly reminded how unwanted and fat I am and applied for bankruptcy then lived off me for 7 years plus gotten me in over 200grand debt that I can never pay off, ooh and plus I couldn’t leave when he became abusive after drinking then threatens his and my life if I ever left… yup, I found a way to get the fuck out out that as well. oh did I forget to mention the asswipe fuck buddy I had who spent 3 years just to persuade me that he loved me then dumps me a week after I finally caved just to tell me he loves me too much to date me then forces me to be his best friend and gets engaged to a girl I introduced him a month earlier… even threatened to out me on this site if I ever told anyone about me rejecting him trying to fuck me behind his fiances’ back.. I got myself the fuck away from that too.

So please feel free to judge how I live, and how much I drink. I still love the world and everything that’s in it. I don’t regret or want to re-live any part of it but I’m proud to have lived it. It is a part of me and what made me so strong and happy with all the thing most people neglect in their fulfilling life of money and glamour. I am in love with every part of myself… not only because I deserve to be just a little narcissistic, but because I fought like hell to get here, so I’m going to fucking enjoy it. Ain’t going to waste my time whining about shit that’s just life being life, cause fuck, you haven’t see the worst, and neither have I, we should all be glad to be where we are and with who we’re with. It could have been worse. :p

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